4 Magpies
Prequel
“You are going to the Island.”
“What! Why? I promise I’ll never-“
“I’m not going to discuss it further. You have shamed the good name of “Hudsonia.” You have disappointed me greatly, Nathan. You will live with your mother on the Island.”
“Dad… you don’t understand, it’s all a misunderstanding! It wasn’t my fault.”
“I supposed that boy just fell on top of you did he?”
“…”
“You were expelled from the school Nathan, they don’t expel pupils lightly from Mainland Grammar.”
“Let me explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain, you’ve embarrassed me and you’ve embarrassed yourself. I don’t want to see your face again. You are no longer my son Nathan.”
“I…I…”
“There’s no use arguing, I’ve sorted the paperwork, you are now officially Nathan Rowan, and you are leaving tomorrow”
That’s my dad all over. Paperwork, Paperwork, Paperwork, it was his life. My dad, James Hudsonia, is an accountant. He and my mom broke up and she moved away along with Millions in alimony payments. She bought herself a house on the “Island” a playground for the rich and beautiful. My dad has never forgiven her. I know it’s only natural to blame myself for them splitting up but it was as a result of my “unconventional condition” that it happened. My dad blamed my mom, she was what my dad would call “over-protective”. I don’t blame her, if anything I thank her, she taught me to always “express myself” and “go with my instinct”. She let me do anything… sometimes I felt she didn’t care about me, I’d be out all hours of the night and when I came home with a girl, my mom would just shrug and make sure my dad didn’t find out. Only one day my dad did find out… only one day it wasn’t a girl I brought home. Then they broke up. “Got divorced?” You know like the old milk adverts… that’s what that phrase always used to remind me of.
I had to talk to like, fifty different lawyers and a councillor, as well as a psychiatrist who tried to find out what was “wrong” with me. At first I thought it was nothing important, that my parents were just having a little argument… nothing really serious, and that they’d patch things up… then the “if your parents Got Divorce?” turned into “when your parents Got Divorce?” I was told that I had to choose between my parents, then it hit me really hard, I have this annoying habit of crying at the stupidest things like soppy movies about dogs with terminal illnesses, but when they told me they were definitely breaking up I was too scared and upset to cry. Anyway… so I stayed with my dad because it was where my home was, where my school was, and most importantly of all that was were Lance was.
Part 1
October 26
Okay, so Lance has made me buy this stupid journal. I probably won’t write it very much. I mean, I think diaries are for girls. I’d better let him see me writing in it though so he doesn’t think I don’t like his little present. Lance says I should fill a page a day, but I don’t think I can write that much. I suck at English anyway. Giving me a present was kind of strange though. He just walked up to me one day and gave me it.
“Nate! This is for you…”
“Not Christmas for another two months, Lance.”
“I know… just thought I’d surprise you.”
“Umm… thanks.”
“You like it?”
“It’s a… book.”
“Yeah a journal so you can write about your life!”
“Ummm…”
“Well you are always talking about being bored all the time, and I saw this in a shop and thought you might like it.”
“So I can write about my boring life?”
Lance just smiled at that. I don’t get Lance really… recently he’s been acting really weird around me. We hang out a lot now, but he’s really starting to annoy me, all he ever talks about it Kieran. He has a boyfriend called Kieran… who is pretty good-looking but I’m not jealous. They have this weird relationship which I don’t get. It’s “flexible” which basically lets Kieran cheat on Lance whenever he wants. Lance would never cheat on Kieran though… so it sucks for him. As for me… I’m free and single! Yup I don’t like to be tied down. Being bisexual kinda rocks… means I can take my pick out of the hotties. Lance says that it’s because of that attitude that I’m single. Yeah, well at least I’m not being cuckolded at every corner.
I don’t want to look ungrateful so I’d better keep writing. Lance was telling me about this theory he had that stuff happens to people who start diaries so that they have something to write about. Sounds like a load of rubbish to me, but I didn’t say that to his face. Lance is quite sensitive when it comes to these things, quite cute really. I don’t understand why he’s going out with Kieran though… Kieran is the brashest guy in his year and is constantly saying horrible things to him, and then he goes and sleeps with some other dude and Lance thinks it’s his fault. I don’t care really… I mean it’s not my problem. Kieran is an ass though… I mean he’s a total slut. Nobody likes him but they all worship him. Even I have to admit, given the chance, I probably wouldn’t turn him down… well actually I probably would, but only because Lance is a good mate of mine, and I don’t do that to mates.
Well… okay there was this one time where I kissed my mate Hillary’s boyfriend… but I was really drunk and like… 14. I’m 16 now! More mature… and I would definitely not do that sort of thing…Anymore.
Wow… I’ve written like a page and a half. Yeah… well I’ll stop writing now because my hand is getting kinda sore; it’s really difficult to write in books on your knee. Dammit… there goes the end of lunch bell I’m going to be late again!
DETENTION SLIP!
Name: Nathan Hudsonia
Issued By: Darius Darren
Subject: Physics
Time and Duration: In my classroom, 3:30pm for one hour.
Reason: Late for lesson after lunch and repeated disruptive behaviour in class.
Signed: D. Darren
Oct 26(Still):
I’m going to kill that Lance his fault that I’m in detention, if he hadn’t given me this stupid journal then I wouldn’t have been late for the next lesson and I wouldn’t have gotten in trouble with Mr. Darren. Urgh…
All well at least I have something to do, Mr. Darren forgot to give me some work to do and I’ve finished all my homework, only took me 20 minutes. Bleh. I’m so bored.
So anyway Lance has been talking to me loads, he said he was sorry about getting me a detention, I forgave him. Difficult not to really, Lance as this annoying habit of making you feel guilty. He doesn’t do it in a nasty way, he just has these big green eyes that look into you, like he’s about to cry or something.
Urgh, I still have a whole freaking half an hour of detention Mr. Darren is such a bastard… he didn’t even turn up! He’s supposed to supervise me for this thing. I really should just leave… but knowing my luck he’ll turn up at the last minute catching me in the act of escaping and give me another bazillion detentions, asshole.
Dammit, speak of the devil here he comes. I’d better put my notebook away.
***
Well that was weird… it wasn’t Mr. Darren after all, it was the headmaster showing around a new kid. Some dude called “Alex”. Damn… he was F-I-T. Blonde hair spiked back with pink highlights (the headmaster said he would have to wash them out, and his mom explained they were an accident and he would have to wait till they grew out… yeah right, this boy just screams GAY). He sure was cute though… he had this whole punk think going with safety pins in his T-shirt. I gave him a smile and he smiled back, but it was a weird smile, like he was analysing me. I dunno, maybe it’s just being stuck in this hell hole. The headmaster seemed to be drooling over him, the headmaster is such a creep though.
“Oh! Hello Nathan, I didn’t realise this classroom was being used…”
“No Sir, it’s okay, I’m supposed to be in detention.”
“Oh dear Nathan, not again… You haven’t seen Mr Darren have you?”
“No Sir.”
“This is Alex, Alex Monner, he’ll be in your year, I’m just giving him the grand tour before he starts tomorrow.”
He then puts his hand on Alex’s shoulder, the creep. Alex calmly brushes it off. That boy has attitude!
“Now Nathan, seeing as you are here, you wouldn’t mind being Alex’s mentor would you? You know, show him around let him know what’s what.”!
“Yes, Sir.”With PLEASURE! Yeah, well at least something good came of this detention.
(On Nathan’s desk in his room)
Nathan,
The School called today telling me you have been given another detention. I must say I am very disappointed; this is the third detention you’ve been given this term! I have a good mind to ground you forthwith. I spoke to your Tutor this afternoon, Mrs. Klan. He says that you are easily distracted, he tells me that you have the potential to be great if you only applied yourself. I feel that it is in your best interests if I forbid you from going to Saturday night’s dance in the school hall. You will work and catch up with some of your studies.
I am currently away at a meeting. There is some food in the fridge if you would like to make yourself a snack. I should be home by seven o’ clock.
J. Hudsonia
Dad,
I have decided to go for dinner at the Flaming Embargo on the High Street, I have caught up on all my homework. I should be back by around eight thirty.
Love
Nathan.
(Nathan’s Journal)
Oct. 26 (Yes… Still)
Can my day get any worse? Where the hell is everybody? I tried to go down town to the “Flaming Embargo” (a café/restaurant type place where everybody usually hangs out after school) so that I can avoid my dad, but no one was there! I can’t believe it! I usually hang out with the guys in my tutorial group… but not one single one of them was there! Not even Moira, who usually sits in the corner with her espresso-no-milk-no-sugar! Our tutorial group is the smallest because a lot of people ask to be moved owing to the fact that Mrs. Klan is a lunatic, there are four people in my year being tutored by Mrs. Klan right now: Me, Lance, Kieran and this Goth girl; Moira. I know, I know, it’s a pretty big coincidence that all the queer guys are in one tutorial, well a part from Moira, she’s pretty cool. Unfortunately for her everyone thinks she must be a lesbian because she’s part of Mrs. Klan’s tutorial group. Don’t think she minds though, she’s really quiet and keeps to herself. In my eyes, I recon she’s a real Goth, she isn’t doing it to be cool or show off. She wears black make-up and stuff because that’s the way she feels. I guess I kind of admire her, well not right now. Right now I hate her for not being at the Flaming Embargo… bitch. I couldn’t just hang around on my own could I? I guess I could’ve had a bit of fun flirting with some innocent freshman, but to be honest I wasn’t in the mood.
I decided to walk home on my own and got there just in time to suffer the wrath of my Dad. He’s banned me from going to the Halloween ball this Saturday. Bastard. All well, who knows? Maybe if I do a good enough job showing round this Alex dude, Mrs. Klan might put in a good word for me. Here’s dreaming.
Uhh… P.S. (I’ve written three entries in a DAY!? Man… I have way too much free time on my hands)
(Lance’s Journal)
Dear Luke,
Today I saw two people who mean a lot to me. I gave Nathan my present to him, he didn’t remember that it had been a year since we first met at the school. I don’t blame him, I’m surprised I even remembered. He seemed a little disappointed with the present. Sure, he was surprised, but he didn’t seem to think much of it. I hope he writes in it. Maybe he’ll name it like I named you, Luke? Who knows. I feel kind of bad though, after giving it to him he wrote in it and was late for his next class and Mr. Darren gave him a detention. He was real grumpy that day. I hope he doesn’t hate me now.
I’m scared, Luke, I think I’m in love with him. There, I said it. I mean I’ve always thought he was a cool guy, witty and not afraid of what other people say. I’ve always thought of him as a great friend, but I’m finding myself thinking about him a lot and… Kieran. Well… Kieran and I took a walk today.
We were going to go to Flaming Embargo for a snack, but Kieran wanted to take a short-cut through the park from school. It was one of Kieran’s impulsive moves, he decided it was a good idea and so we did it. He trusts his instinct entirely, but I’m afraid that one day his instinct will be wrong. Not this time though. The park was beautiful, red orange and yellow leaves carpeted the ground. It was quite windy, and the leaves spiralled down and flurried in front of us. He held my hand was we walked, he told me my hands were cold and rubbed them together between his, blowing. He seemed nervous, he kept letting go of my hand as we walked silently, to jump into a pile of leaves or to chase a squirrel. To me it felt like he was trying to break the silence, Kieran hates silence. I liked it. It felt for a moment that there was no time. No time-tables, no routine not being back before eight o’clock. Everything was peaceful and ordered. We sat on a bench and talked. Kieran out of no where brought up the subject of our relationship. He said that he was afraid that things weren’t working. I pretended I didn’t understand what he meant. But I did understand. When we started going out I was amazed. Kieran is… was famous for his one-night-stands, his flirting attitude, is wild unpredictability. We were good friends, I mean we always paired up whenever we had to do an exercise in Mrs. Klan’s tutorial lessons. Then again, he wouldn’t go with Nathan he was the only boy to ever turn him down, Kieran always held a grudge. And he definitely would pair up with Moira, she would cramp his style. It’s all too easy to see the faults now I know his true feelings. It was never serious… Kieran and I agreed it would be flexible, never get too involved. Maybe that was the reason he seemed so distant, I got too involved. Ever since that night we slept together, and I said… what I said. He’s been acting far away. He no longer holds my hand firmly, like he’s leading me to some great adventure (that’s how I felt… before, wasn’t I pathetic?), but like he’s just holding on, by the finger tips. Maybe aren’t meant to be together. I’m so confused, I hate him but I love him! I want us to be together… but I know it won’t work, not now. There’spain here in my heart.
Good night Luke.
Lance x x
(Kieran’s Soul)
The world doesn’t work. You know? It’s like it’s malfunctioning. There are paradoxes… like the way I feel. I can’t love someone I’m afraid of can I? I can’t hate someone I love, can I? It’s like the world is spinning round me, only I’m spinning too, but I can’t keep up and the world becomes jagged and distorted. Lance is the first guy I’ve ever… you know… really loved. Not the kind of love that’s physical, but the kind of love that spins in your gut. The kind of love that hurts like a fork in the nuts, the kind where you feel like giving your soul away to pay for it? The kind of love that makes you feel guilty about even being alive, you know? Like you aren’t even worthy to know the person, let alone, you know, be with. Yeah. So I was with Lance. We were with each other at my house. It just sort of happened, it wasn’t my, you know, first time. But I think it was his. He was cute, like, innocent. I felt like I was doing something horrible. Never felt this way before. Before it’s always about the feeling, This time it was about his feeling. You know? It was heavy, like my best and worst ever. You know? Shit, I tell you the world is malfunctioning, para-fuck-doxical. It suddenly got heavy for Kieran Ashcroft. After he said he loved me. Yeah, that heavy. I could say anything though. Like my tongue was stuck. Only it wasn’t my tongue, it was deeper than that, it was like, in my chest you know? My heart, my fucking heart. Never thought I had one. You know? Of course you fucking don’t. I think I love him, like that painful love, not the hot sweaty sticky sweet love. Real love, the real deal. I tell you, the world doesn’t work, para-fucking-doxy-shit.
(On the headmaster’s desk in his study)
HM,
Alix Bough has yet to be assigned a tutor. I suggest that you place him in Mrs Klan’s care, she is Nathan’s tutor and I believe you assigned him to be Alix’s mentor for the first few weeks.
Yours Sincerely
Miss Sprightly
(School Secretary)
P.S. Are you sure it was a good idea assigning Nathan as the new pupil’s mentor?
(On the School Secretary’s desk in the reception)
Michelle, Re: Note on my desk
Excellent idea!
Will speak to Mrs. Klan ASAP.
Write letter to Mr. Bough?
HM
(In Alix Bough’s Pocket)
Alix Bough,
I have enclosed a copy of your timetable and a map of the campus as well as the relevant meal times and tutorial times. Your tutor for the rest of your time here at Mainland Grammar will be Mrs. Klan. Her classroom is to the east side of the Quad, I have marked it on the map. You will report to her for your morning tutorial along with the rest of your form class. Tomorrow you should meet Nathan Hudsonia in the school reception promptly at 8:30 am. He will be your mentor for the first few weeks, if you have any questions or problems regarding Mainland Grammar, do not hesitate to ask him, or failing that your Tutor, Mrs. Klan. We hope you enjoy your time here at Mainland Grammar and we trust that you will work hard and will not find the work here too taxing.
M. Sprightly
(School Secretary)
(Scrunched up in a wastepaper basket)
Alicia,
You kNoW ALix? Da nEw bOi?
He iz sooo fit! I think he’s gay tho… What’s wid da pink hair?
Xx
Michelle
(Nathan’s Journal)
Wow… so today has been… err… interesting. I found out that Alex actually spells his name “Alix,” how cool is that? I want to spell my name funny… like… Nayt or… Nait. Actually it would just be stupid with my name, besides I wouldn’t want to look like I was copying. I was late meeting Alix, because I forgot the time I was supposed to meet him. He didn’t seem to mind, when I apologised he gave me this look like “Yeah? So what?” Turns out Alix has a bit of an attitude problem. He was wearing the same ripped shirt with safety pins in it, with these hipster jeans. I thought the punk fashion was to wear baggy pants? He still had pink streaks in his hair, they looked like they had faded since yesterday, but it’s hard to miss neon pink, even if it is faded. I started his tour with the Quad, a big square in the middle of the school. There’s a sort of coffee booth thing in the middle where you can buy drinks and snacks during break, it’s run by this creepy guy though… and the coffee tastes funny. Most people just go to the Flaming Embargo instead. While I was telling this he yawned and OMG! He had a tongue ring, can you believe it? It’s cool, sure, but I could never do anything that painful. He caught me gawking at him and he stuck his tongue out at me. I asked him when he got it done.
“Over the summer.” He said quietly. It’s weird, this guy dresses like he’s trying to attract attention but he seems so shy. He’s real quiet too. He talks with a slight southern accent, not drawling, but just enough to be cute.
“Didn’t it hurt?” I asked, he looked at me and shrugged. This guy was difficult to talk to, he never said anything if a gesture or a shrug would do. I got the sudden urge to try and flirt with him. He seemed to completely ignore my attempts. Maybe this guy wasn’t gay… I mean, maybe he just got his blue hair dye mixed up with his pink hair dye. But then, why didn’t he wear a hat? He could of at least gelled his hair a different way… the spikes only seemed to emphasise the pink streaks.
We kept walking and as I showed him round I managed to find out he takes mostly the same classes as me, which is cool. He’s in my class for Physics with Mr. Darren. I warned Alix about him, but he just shrugged. While I was telling him about the Flaming Embargo the bell went. Yeah, I was late for tutorial again. Well, it’s not like Mrs. Klan cared much. It was only a morning tutorial anyway. Mrs. Klan is weird but I get the feeling she is much sharper than she acts. She was the only person to spell Alix’s name right through the whole day, and I could tell Alix had a bit of respect for Mrs. Klan as a result.
Then we had some crappy lessons, double physics in the afternoon. Alicia, who sits next to me in physics was asking me to pass notes to Michelle in front of me, she kept giggling really annoyingly. Then she totally started to flirt with Alix, you know, playing with her hair and giving him looks. Alix just gave a little smile and avoided her gaze. Mr Darren kept trying to catch Alix out, he seemed to have something against him, maybe it was the hair. Thing is, turns out Alix is this total physics genius! Hmm… I’m going to have to ask him to help me with my homework.
I didn’t see much of Lance today… he wanted to talk to me about something. Maybe I’ll catch up with him later at the Flaming Emabargo.
(Lance’s Journal)
Dear Luke,
I feel like I need time alone. Kieran didn’t talk to me all day, I don’t know what it is. Ever since that walk, maybe he realised something. Maybe he found out what an egotistical “holier-than-thou” person I am.
The walk was the first date, or at least the first time alone we’ve had together since the night I lost my virginity to him. I said something stupid, I wish I had never said anything at all. Kieran has had so many boyfriends, maybe I’m not good enough? Maybe I am ugly, I feel ugly. I feel fat and grim. I don’t deserve him, he’s funny and the most handsome person ever. Like in that English sonnet thing we studied. That beautiful man Shakespeare is always writing about. I do love him, which is why this hurts so much. Our relationship is falling a part all because of those stupid three words. He made it clear to me when we started that he didn’t want anything serious. I accepted that, I just wanted to be with him. I guess I naively hoped he would fall in love with me and it could become more serious.
I wanted to talk about it to Nathan this morning but he seemed busy with the new boy. He never understood what I saw in Kieran, but he doesn’t know Kieran like I do. He’s a thinker, he acts stupid sometimes and he loves to show off, but he has a heart. If you can get him to open up then he’s a beautiful person inside. He’s not shallow, like everyone thinks. I need someone to talk to. Maybe I will go to the “Flaming Embargo” later, I do not want to have to face Kieran though. What is wrong with me? I’m avoiding my own boyfriend in favour of Nathan. Maybe that’s the problem. Nathan is a nice guy… and I should not be thinking like this, because I love Kieran. Is my love dieing? Maybe there was no love at all. I do not know what I’m saying. I’m so confused right now.
I’m going to get a coffee and do my English homework in the “Flaming Embargo” I’m going to just clear my thoughts. Damn. I forgot about the tutorial this afternoon. Well, I’ll at least have time to get a cup of coffee before I go.
Lance x x
(Attached to the fridge with a designer fridge magnet)
Nathan,
I trust you had a productive day at school? I’m afraid I had to rush away to another meeting, the company is going through a slight blip. I probably won’t be home until 9 o’ clock. There is Mushroom Soup on the stove if you want to make yourself some dinner.
J. Hudsonia
P.S. Remember you have an evening tutorial at 6:30pm, don’t forget.
(In an empty saucepan on the stove)
Dad,
I have not eaten the mushroom soup (as you can probably see). I’ve told you several times that I abhor mushrooms with a passion. I’m going to the Flaming Embargo for a tuna sandwich and a milkshake, yes again. If you want me to eat more healthy food then maybe you should buy me something that I actually like. Have an nice meeting!
Love
Nathan
PS I know I have a tutorial this evening and I’m going round to Alix’s house to remind him.
(Kieran’s Soul)
I’m torn, between love and lust, stability and passion. His name is Alix and he is perfect, and flawless, a gemstone. He has a flash of silver in his tongue, a flash of rainbow in his hair and a flash of rebellion in his eyes. He is so beautiful I melt when he smiles, I’m creamed-ice losing my cool around him. But Lance… Beautiful Lance, his innocence lost at my hand. In his eyes I see something else, innocent yet so old, a tired wisdom swirling in the grey. I see what I do not have, true love and devotion. I see the potential of pain in his every movement. He is fine crystal so easily broken. At my touch he sings and shatters. I do not deserve such delicacy such worth and value. We dance with knives striking each other with love’s blade. The blood falls in spirals around us. Round we go dieing again, neither daring to break the circle lest we die or kill the other. Lest one bleed to death, lest on be lost. This dance is sacrifice, I can’t handle the pain. I want to stop. Let the heart rest.
I yearn to be free, fly with a pink streaked wing safety pinned and silver studded to my back. I need to tell Lance… that I am not worthy of his love. I am a man-whore cheaper than air. I fear commitment, my skin is tainted with razor blades and will only cause pain who dare attach themselves to me. I cannot be loved or love myself… but I subject myself again and again… all for what? For a quiet punk, a secret to be unlocked… the thrill of a challenge. Lance, forgive me, you were not my conquest… you were my awakener, you taught me of how my actions have consequences, how I am a heartless fool. You must not love me for how can you love the grime on your crystal soul… your crystal mind.
(Nathan’s Journal)
I remembered to go to tutorial! This was probably the first tutorial I had been to on time. Seriously. I was the first person to arrive, I even arrived before Mr. Klan, I was only a couple of minutes early though. I’m not that keen. Shortly after Moira arrived, I smiled at her and she nodded back before sitting in her chair in the corner and staring out the window.
Mrs. Klan’s classroom is pretty cool. She only has seven desks, well they aren’t exactly desks, more like chairs with little tables attached which you can fold out.Anyway, they are laid out pretty much randomly round the room and Lance and Kieran usually pull two desk-chairs together and sit next to each other. When Kieran arrived and sat down I suddenly realised something. I FORGOT TO COLLECT ALIX FROM HIS HOUSE! So I quickly told Kieran and Moira I was going to go get Alix, then I ran top speed back, past my house towards Alix’s house. I knocked on his door, completely out of breath. Luckily it was Alix who answered the door.
“Alix…(pant)… tutorial….(pant), (wheeze)… follow… me…” I barely managed to gasp. Alix looked at me and gave me what looked like a sort of sympath
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